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JOURNAL...
THURSDAY 8 NOVEMBER 2007 - 104.3kgs
Hello??Hethum....well now....where do I start.
I could give you a blow by blow description of my life and the battle with weight, but somehow Im sure it's a tune many readers have heard before. So here's the greatest hits version...
I'm 34, and live on the northern beaches of Sydney. I have a gorgeous partner called Carl and an absolutely beautiful daughter called River. I have a sister, Kim, who's 4 yrs older, and a twin sister , Kerrie. We're all really close which is great.
My weight has had an enormous impact on my life. The sense of failure that comes with another diet, then another diet simply not being able to keep the weight off is huge. Of course I can lose the weight - oh yes, I'm a machine when I get going (7-9 spin classes per week at one stage, another I was doing 5 kickboxing sessions a week)...I can lose 15-30 kilos when I put my mind to it, but as soon as I stop living my life as a boot camp - on it all comes back. Now I have a back injury and a knee injury that has created an even harder obstacle to get the weight down. Enough is enough......enter stage right....the Gastric Band!!!
I started researching the Gastric Band almost 12 mths ago. I joined a private health fund then had to wait it out for 12 mths (or pay a quick $16,000...yikes!) Even once I had made the decision that this would be a great tool for me, notwithstanding that, I STILL spent the past 12 mths trying one last time to do it myself. Not only did I throw myself into Jenny Craig...I got myself a job there as a way to keep the motivation going and sustain any weightloss...can't say I didn't try hey!
Now that it's almost 12 mths on, with the world of Jenny Craig behind me (as another diet that didn't work to keep the weight loss down) I have finally put the wheels into motion to get the operation.
After attending an info seminar, a visit with the clinic nurse, dietitian, and today the surgeon, aside from countless hours researching and chatting and lunching with others who have had the band done...I have a date finally! 25th February 2008.
Until then, I plan to work with a personal trainer to lose a kilo or 2 before then, and get fitter to hopefully have a quick recovery from the operation...then really hit the ground running.
Stay tuned readers...your not going to know what's hit you...BRING IT ON!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TUESDAY 12 DECEMBER 2007 - 98.8kgs
Hello readers,
Am finally getting me butt into gear and will be uploading some before photos in the next day or so.
My news is that I'm now 98.8kgs! I've lost 5.5 kilos since last entry!!! Have been suffering alot of hunger, but getting the kilos off, one after the other. Hopefully will be able to retain this or keep it in this ball park until operation day.
I can hear some of you now...."98kgs! she doesn't need the band if she can lose weight herself!" well, your right, when I put my mind to it, I can go into Nazi mode and work like a demon and through alot of hunger, get the kilos down....but you wait, as soon as I stop the punishment - it'll all be back...and THAT'S why I need the band.
I also know for many of you that 98 kgs is a dream and perhaps you think I should just be happy with that. Believe me, my life is not alot different to someone who's 120+kgs.
I can't go to the beach
I'm the fat friend to all of my friends
I'm the largest person a the gym
I feel completely invisible to the male species (not that I want to be oggled, but you know what I mean, it's just nice to be noticed and feel like a female!
I worry about chairs
I can't wear sleeveless tops
It's hard to muck around and play and keep up with my daughter
It's summer so I sweat sooo much more than those around me
People look at me and my size 12 twin sister and never hesitate to say, "wow - your sister's gorgeous...gee you really look nothing alike do you?"
Should I go on? I could but will keep the negative stuff to a minimum!
I'm finding the wait until I get the band very difficult. Have really realized how much I used diets as my crutch. I mean, many people have said to just relax and let go because I'll be getting the band soon. But I seem to find I just can't. I HAVE to be doing something about my weight - everyday. Because I'm just sooo scared of stopping the momentum...as soon as I do the weight piles back. Sound so obsessive don't I? Perhaps I am a bit.
A large part of my problem I feel is that I seem to have always been surrounded by "the beautiful brigade". Firstly there's my twin who's the traffic stopper wherever she goes....and I take nothing away from her because she is very humble about that and the descrimination against me has hurt her almost as much as it has me. Each of my friends just happens to be a stunner - blonde or brunette and freakin gorgeous....so the bar is set pretty high. I would be VERY happy to not set the bar at all but as many of you know - society has kept reminding me of how important this "bar" is. People's behaviour towards me compared to my sister for example is amazing. Those that I run into on the street with my sis are all warm and lovely....but when I run into them alone without her around - they barely say hello.
Discrimination against overweight people is sooooo alive and well...woo - don't I sound bitter! That's enough of a bllaaahhh. Im not crazy I promise!I guess that's what this piczo thing is all about - a place to record your journey - crazy thoughts and all!
Chat soon xx
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10 Jan 08
Hi there!
Not a hell of a lot to report yet....got through the Xmas period as I usually do - unfortunately another increase of weight that I struggled to maintain...back up to 102.5kgs now. Yep - dissappointing but it again shows what a great candidate I am for the band. Only 46 days to go!!! Call me Opera Winfrey...Im such a yo yo. I go nazi on myself and am so strict with food and the gym - but as soon as I slow down to catch my breath - or have a rough week, on goes the weight.
Ive been keeping up with my piczo friends and your pictures are all looking amazing!
Cant wait to get started. Hope you all had a great Chrissy and New yrs break.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
25th Jan 08 - 103kgs
One month exactly to go before Mr Band walks into my life!!!
So excited - feeling impatient - trying to ward off the emotional eating behaviour so Im not 10 kgs heavier before I get started!
Started to get the jitters now aswell - not so much about the operation, but after. I know for many people, its a good 6 mths of trial and ERROR with the band to settle in.
The learning curve seems to be very steep with harsh consequences for making a wrong turn with food choices eg. having food "revisit" you, getting something stuck, or feeling too much restriction etc. It's those things that give me the hieby jeebies as bit. But Im not loosing sleep over it though - Im just soooooo wanting to start - sooner I start - sooner I start to get results which I know will turn me into a weight loss demon!
Ive so loved hearing about others girls journeys, a few have just been banded and their feedback to me has been great and really appreciated. I think your all amazing - I really do. If I could inspire 1 person to loose weight like you girls have with me, Id be really happy...in a way it would make the hardship of obesity for the past 24 yrs seem worth something.
There is alot of pain associated with this weight problem for me, many nasty memories of feeling isolated, offended by tackless comments, general looks of disaproval and discrimination by society and mostly, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, not liking what i see in the mirror. Well! Yes - that all sounds very woe is me, BUT I don't intend to take those memories with me into the band journey. I intend to remain postive, excited and CONFIDENT about the future.....and leave all that stuff behind. It aint useful to me! Never was.
Enough crapola - signing out.
P.S - you probably don't believe me anymore but I really am trying to put together my "before" photos so we have a really accurate record of where I'll be coming from. Promise! As Ive only got 31 days to go (sooo casual about it aren't I?!!) I really should pull my finger out. ;)
______________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 12th Feb - 105kgs
13 days to go! Feeling really happy, relaxing but very excited. Alot of the past worries about my journey up until this point have now dissappeared. Looking forward to River's 2nd birthday on Sat, the pictures of which will be put in this site and be the last "before" photos I'll do. Then it's onward and inward!! Can't wait till I can get started. See you soon gang.
THURSDAY 8 NOVEMBER 2007 - 104.3kgs
Hello??Hethum....well now....where do I start.
I could give you a blow by blow description of my life and the battle with weight, but somehow Im sure it's a tune many readers have heard before. So here's the greatest hits version...
I'm 34, and live on the northern beaches of Sydney. I have a gorgeous partner called Carl and an absolutely beautiful daughter called River. I have a sister, Kim, who's 4 yrs older, and a twin sister , Kerrie. We're all really close which is great.
My weight has had an enormous impact on my life. The sense of failure that comes with another diet, then another diet simply not being able to keep the weight off is huge. Of course I can lose the weight - oh yes, I'm a machine when I get going (7-9 spin classes per week at one stage, another I was doing 5 kickboxing sessions a week)...I can lose 15-30 kilos when I put my mind to it, but as soon as I stop living my life as a boot camp - on it all comes back. Now I have a back injury and a knee injury that has created an even harder obstacle to get the weight down. Enough is enough......enter stage right....the Gastric Band!!!
I started researching the Gastric Band almost 12 mths ago. I joined a private health fund then had to wait it out for 12 mths (or pay a quick $16,000...yikes!) Even once I had made the decision that this would be a great tool for me, notwithstanding that, I STILL spent the past 12 mths trying one last time to do it myself. Not only did I throw myself into Jenny Craig...I got myself a job there as a way to keep the motivation going and sustain any weightloss...can't say I didn't try hey!
Now that it's almost 12 mths on, with the world of Jenny Craig behind me (as another diet that didn't work to keep the weight loss down) I have finally put the wheels into motion to get the operation.
After attending an info seminar, a visit with the clinic nurse, dietitian, and today the surgeon, aside from countless hours researching and chatting and lunching with others who have had the band done...I have a date finally! 25th February 2008.
Until then, I plan to work with a personal trainer to lose a kilo or 2 before then, and get fitter to hopefully have a quick recovery from the operation...then really hit the ground running.
Stay tuned readers...your not going to know what's hit you...BRING IT ON!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TUESDAY 12 DECEMBER 2007 - 98.8kgs
Hello readers,
Am finally getting me butt into gear and will be uploading some before photos in the next day or so.
My news is that I'm now 98.8kgs! I've lost 5.5 kilos since last entry!!! Have been suffering alot of hunger, but getting the kilos off, one after the other. Hopefully will be able to retain this or keep it in this ball park until operation day.
I can hear some of you now...."98kgs! she doesn't need the band if she can lose weight herself!" well, your right, when I put my mind to it, I can go into Nazi mode and work like a demon and through alot of hunger, get the kilos down....but you wait, as soon as I stop the punishment - it'll all be back...and THAT'S why I need the band.
I also know for many of you that 98 kgs is a dream and perhaps you think I should just be happy with that. Believe me, my life is not alot different to someone who's 120+kgs.
I can't go to the beach
I'm the fat friend to all of my friends
I'm the largest person a the gym
I feel completely invisible to the male species (not that I want to be oggled, but you know what I mean, it's just nice to be noticed and feel like a female!
I worry about chairs
I can't wear sleeveless tops
It's hard to muck around and play and keep up with my daughter
It's summer so I sweat sooo much more than those around me
People look at me and my size 12 twin sister and never hesitate to say, "wow - your sister's gorgeous...gee you really look nothing alike do you?"
Should I go on? I could but will keep the negative stuff to a minimum!
I'm finding the wait until I get the band very difficult. Have really realized how much I used diets as my crutch. I mean, many people have said to just relax and let go because I'll be getting the band soon. But I seem to find I just can't. I HAVE to be doing something about my weight - everyday. Because I'm just sooo scared of stopping the momentum...as soon as I do the weight piles back. Sound so obsessive don't I? Perhaps I am a bit.
A large part of my problem I feel is that I seem to have always been surrounded by "the beautiful brigade". Firstly there's my twin who's the traffic stopper wherever she goes....and I take nothing away from her because she is very humble about that and the descrimination against me has hurt her almost as much as it has me. Each of my friends just happens to be a stunner - blonde or brunette and freakin gorgeous....so the bar is set pretty high. I would be VERY happy to not set the bar at all but as many of you know - society has kept reminding me of how important this "bar" is. People's behaviour towards me compared to my sister for example is amazing. Those that I run into on the street with my sis are all warm and lovely....but when I run into them alone without her around - they barely say hello.
Discrimination against overweight people is sooooo alive and well...woo - don't I sound bitter! That's enough of a bllaaahhh. Im not crazy I promise!I guess that's what this piczo thing is all about - a place to record your journey - crazy thoughts and all!
Chat soon xx
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10 Jan 08
Hi there!
Not a hell of a lot to report yet....got through the Xmas period as I usually do - unfortunately another increase of weight that I struggled to maintain...back up to 102.5kgs now. Yep - dissappointing but it again shows what a great candidate I am for the band. Only 46 days to go!!! Call me Opera Winfrey...Im such a yo yo. I go nazi on myself and am so strict with food and the gym - but as soon as I slow down to catch my breath - or have a rough week, on goes the weight.
Ive been keeping up with my piczo friends and your pictures are all looking amazing!
Cant wait to get started. Hope you all had a great Chrissy and New yrs break.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
25th Jan 08 - 103kgs
One month exactly to go before Mr Band walks into my life!!!
So excited - feeling impatient - trying to ward off the emotional eating behaviour so Im not 10 kgs heavier before I get started!
Started to get the jitters now aswell - not so much about the operation, but after. I know for many people, its a good 6 mths of trial and ERROR with the band to settle in.
The learning curve seems to be very steep with harsh consequences for making a wrong turn with food choices eg. having food "revisit" you, getting something stuck, or feeling too much restriction etc. It's those things that give me the hieby jeebies as bit. But Im not loosing sleep over it though - Im just soooooo wanting to start - sooner I start - sooner I start to get results which I know will turn me into a weight loss demon!
Ive so loved hearing about others girls journeys, a few have just been banded and their feedback to me has been great and really appreciated. I think your all amazing - I really do. If I could inspire 1 person to loose weight like you girls have with me, Id be really happy...in a way it would make the hardship of obesity for the past 24 yrs seem worth something.
There is alot of pain associated with this weight problem for me, many nasty memories of feeling isolated, offended by tackless comments, general looks of disaproval and discrimination by society and mostly, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, not liking what i see in the mirror. Well! Yes - that all sounds very woe is me, BUT I don't intend to take those memories with me into the band journey. I intend to remain postive, excited and CONFIDENT about the future.....and leave all that stuff behind. It aint useful to me! Never was.
Enough crapola - signing out.
P.S - you probably don't believe me anymore but I really am trying to put together my "before" photos so we have a really accurate record of where I'll be coming from. Promise! As Ive only got 31 days to go (sooo casual about it aren't I?!!) I really should pull my finger out. ;)
______________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 12th Feb - 105kgs
13 days to go! Feeling really happy, relaxing but very excited. Alot of the past worries about my journey up until this point have now dissappeared. Looking forward to River's 2nd birthday on Sat, the pictures of which will be put in this site and be the last "before" photos I'll do. Then it's onward and inward!! Can't wait till I can get started. See you soon gang.
3475 hits
Sunday 17 February,
8 days to go!!! So pleased. We had River's 2nd birthday party yesterday. As usual I had alot of anxiety about how much weight Ive put on since some of my friends had seen me over the last few months. It usually tears me up and causes me to worry so much, but the great thing about yesterday was I just told myself, "this is the LAST time I have to feel like this. The LAST time when Im feeling ashamed of my weight. The LAST time I have to cringe when the camera comes out" Instead - I was fine with the camera and just thought to myself - cool- more "before" photos!I'll use them as motivation.
The last of the guests left at about midnight, after the party which started at 2.30pm...long day but fun. Last night I woke up at about 3am and was really thirsty and thought I may need a panadol (yes - was drinking red wine) but when I got up I got the heeby jeebies..(yes that can often happen with me because Im a chicken) and got so scared I ran back into the bedroom and woke up Carl. I explained and asked him to accompany me to the kitchen so I could get a drink (just like a 5 yr old)....and then started to cry!! I think the relief of the party being done with, my 12 mth wait for the operation is almost done with, and a few nerves about if I'll be able to actually loose weight after surgery etc etc blahblah was kicking in in my sleepy state. Was weirtd anyway - it took Carl a minute or 2 just to get me to stop crying and tell him what was on my mind.
Silly Gab! Anyway - hope you gorgeous bandit girls are good and chat soon
8 days to go!!! So pleased. We had River's 2nd birthday party yesterday. As usual I had alot of anxiety about how much weight Ive put on since some of my friends had seen me over the last few months. It usually tears me up and causes me to worry so much, but the great thing about yesterday was I just told myself, "this is the LAST time I have to feel like this. The LAST time when Im feeling ashamed of my weight. The LAST time I have to cringe when the camera comes out" Instead - I was fine with the camera and just thought to myself - cool- more "before" photos!I'll use them as motivation.
The last of the guests left at about midnight, after the party which started at 2.30pm...long day but fun. Last night I woke up at about 3am and was really thirsty and thought I may need a panadol (yes - was drinking red wine) but when I got up I got the heeby jeebies..(yes that can often happen with me because Im a chicken) and got so scared I ran back into the bedroom and woke up Carl. I explained and asked him to accompany me to the kitchen so I could get a drink (just like a 5 yr old)....and then started to cry!! I think the relief of the party being done with, my 12 mth wait for the operation is almost done with, and a few nerves about if I'll be able to actually loose weight after surgery etc etc blahblah was kicking in in my sleepy state. Was weirtd anyway - it took Carl a minute or 2 just to get me to stop crying and tell him what was on my mind.
Silly Gab! Anyway - hope you gorgeous bandit girls are good and chat soon
24th February 2008
105.7kgs
Well this is it. Tomowrrow's the big day. I'm feeling nervous but can't quite put my finger on why. I guess it's just the wait that is finally over - and the amazing amount of hardship and frustration that has happened in the meantime. It's actually been a 14 mth wait. Man - the day is almost here.eeeeee!
I intend to spend the day with my little family and eat what ever the hell I like!
Re. tomorrow I have to be at the hospital at midday.Will probably post again tomorrow morning. Any words of wisdom or support would be greatfully received at this time!! Thanks so much for all your support so far.
105.7kgs
Well this is it. Tomowrrow's the big day. I'm feeling nervous but can't quite put my finger on why. I guess it's just the wait that is finally over - and the amazing amount of hardship and frustration that has happened in the meantime. It's actually been a 14 mth wait. Man - the day is almost here.eeeeee!
I intend to spend the day with my little family and eat what ever the hell I like!
Re. tomorrow I have to be at the hospital at midday.Will probably post again tomorrow morning. Any words of wisdom or support would be greatfully received at this time!! Thanks so much for all your support so far.
Saturday 8th March 2008
100.7kgs (6 kilo loss in 2 weeks)
Hello! Im reallly really sorry I havent updated this yet. Ive followed people on piczo for over a year and it annoyed me when I was curious as to how they were doing and then they wouldnt update for ages! So I do apologise. Ive had no internet access since the operation and have been too unenergetic to get myself to an internet cafe to catch up. Well hear I am finally.
There are two ways I could describe the past 2 weeks:
1/ The "light" version - where I just lie and say everything was AOK and I breezed through....
2/ The real version, warts and all...
If I was planning on getting the band I think Id wanna hear how it really was, so pleased don't be offended if you were only after the poliete version.
The actually surgery was fine. I was a little nervous (Ok, quite nervous) when it came time to be wheeled down to the theatre. But my gorgeous Carl was there holding my hand, making me laugh through my tears while we waited. I dunno why I was crying, I think perhaps in a way I was crying out all the hurt and pain and frustration I have felt up to this time regarding my weight problem. Finally I was turning a page in my life and had a moment of sorrow for all the failed efforts in the past.(bit dramatic I know but heck, Im a bit that way anyway)
Didn't have to wait too long either. I had to arrive at the hospital at midday, got wheeled down the the waiting area at about 1.30pm, and went in at about 2pm.
When the anesthesist saw me and my tear stained face I think he thought, "lets put this chick outta her misery" so they knocked me out quickly.
I woke up uncomfortable. No writhing in pain stuff, just uncomfortable. So I told them and they got the pethadine going which was grrreeat. Back in my room I began having a bad response to the general anesthetic. NOT the operation - so please understand the difference, I don't want to scare anyone. The nausea and headache was bad. Many pain and nausea needles and drips followed. I quickly learned that I was unable to tolerate fluid without dry-reaching so being unable to do that meant I couldn't leave the hospital or get off the drip unfortunately. The medication helped until my body recovered from the general anesthetic. Unfortunatly it just took time. I went in on the Monday, came out on the Thursday. Bummer, but glad I was in the right place.
So my experience was not ideal or how Id planned but it is what it is. And it's all over.
I came home and was very very lethargic had mild pain for a few days. It felt like a small person was sitting on my chest, so just uncomfortable. Never though it would pass but it did. De-gas and a wheat bag for my upper back really helped.
Every single day Ive felted a bit better. As I sit here almost 2 weeks since the op, I have this to say to all pre-bandits:
- It's all do-able.
- We live in 2008, so even if you have a bumpy start like I did, they'll never leave you in considerable pain etc. And drugs are great...hehee
- Ive lost 6 kilos in the past 2 weeks - that speaks for itself
- I have energy now and cant wait to hit the gym and get this show on the road
- Plan for the 2 weeks recovery and you'll be fine
- You'll be fine
- The sense of achievement that I FINALLY have the band after a long 12-14mth wait is fantastic. I logged onto heaps of peoples piczo sites and as I watched them slowly but surely dissappear kilo by kilo I just longed for it to be MY turn. Now it is and Im so excited.
- Even as I walk down the street I feel more confident - I don't look any different, but I feel empowered by knowing that I have PROPER help on board now to help reward me for my future weight loss efforts.
Stay tuned! I promise to make this site an interesting and inspiring journey for you!
Im back online at home on Thursday so will update this site again then.
Love to hear how everyone else is doing. Thanks for your thoughts and comments.
Gabsxxx
100.7kgs (6 kilo loss in 2 weeks)
Hello! Im reallly really sorry I havent updated this yet. Ive followed people on piczo for over a year and it annoyed me when I was curious as to how they were doing and then they wouldnt update for ages! So I do apologise. Ive had no internet access since the operation and have been too unenergetic to get myself to an internet cafe to catch up. Well hear I am finally.
There are two ways I could describe the past 2 weeks:
1/ The "light" version - where I just lie and say everything was AOK and I breezed through....
2/ The real version, warts and all...
If I was planning on getting the band I think Id wanna hear how it really was, so pleased don't be offended if you were only after the poliete version.
The actually surgery was fine. I was a little nervous (Ok, quite nervous) when it came time to be wheeled down to the theatre. But my gorgeous Carl was there holding my hand, making me laugh through my tears while we waited. I dunno why I was crying, I think perhaps in a way I was crying out all the hurt and pain and frustration I have felt up to this time regarding my weight problem. Finally I was turning a page in my life and had a moment of sorrow for all the failed efforts in the past.(bit dramatic I know but heck, Im a bit that way anyway)
Didn't have to wait too long either. I had to arrive at the hospital at midday, got wheeled down the the waiting area at about 1.30pm, and went in at about 2pm.
When the anesthesist saw me and my tear stained face I think he thought, "lets put this chick outta her misery" so they knocked me out quickly.
I woke up uncomfortable. No writhing in pain stuff, just uncomfortable. So I told them and they got the pethadine going which was grrreeat. Back in my room I began having a bad response to the general anesthetic. NOT the operation - so please understand the difference, I don't want to scare anyone. The nausea and headache was bad. Many pain and nausea needles and drips followed. I quickly learned that I was unable to tolerate fluid without dry-reaching so being unable to do that meant I couldn't leave the hospital or get off the drip unfortunately. The medication helped until my body recovered from the general anesthetic. Unfortunatly it just took time. I went in on the Monday, came out on the Thursday. Bummer, but glad I was in the right place.
So my experience was not ideal or how Id planned but it is what it is. And it's all over.
I came home and was very very lethargic had mild pain for a few days. It felt like a small person was sitting on my chest, so just uncomfortable. Never though it would pass but it did. De-gas and a wheat bag for my upper back really helped.
Every single day Ive felted a bit better. As I sit here almost 2 weeks since the op, I have this to say to all pre-bandits:
- It's all do-able.
- We live in 2008, so even if you have a bumpy start like I did, they'll never leave you in considerable pain etc. And drugs are great...hehee
- Ive lost 6 kilos in the past 2 weeks - that speaks for itself
- I have energy now and cant wait to hit the gym and get this show on the road
- Plan for the 2 weeks recovery and you'll be fine
- You'll be fine
- The sense of achievement that I FINALLY have the band after a long 12-14mth wait is fantastic. I logged onto heaps of peoples piczo sites and as I watched them slowly but surely dissappear kilo by kilo I just longed for it to be MY turn. Now it is and Im so excited.
- Even as I walk down the street I feel more confident - I don't look any different, but I feel empowered by knowing that I have PROPER help on board now to help reward me for my future weight loss efforts.
Stay tuned! I promise to make this site an interesting and inspiring journey for you!
Im back online at home on Thursday so will update this site again then.
Love to hear how everyone else is doing. Thanks for your thoughts and comments.
Gabsxxx
Sunday 16th March 2008
99.7 kilos
Hello! We've been stuffed around by Telstra something chronic! Still no access to internet and have now been told it will be this Wednesday....so sorry no groovy photos or other stuff.....
I'm about 3 weeks since the operation. I FEEL FANTASTIC! Really back to normal. Until last Thursday, I was feeling hungrier and hungrier and fearing my old habits would raise their ugly head as soon as I got the OK to go onto harder foods. But along came my first check up....so I saw Steve the surgeon last Thursday and due to everything healing so well, he said the magic words, "how about we give you your first fill?" I almost leapt off the table I was lying on - cool! So he only gave me 2mls and said not to be surprised if I feel nothing different as it is such a small amount. BUT -I have felt a bit different., Still hungry at times but it has really helped curb the hunger. The actual fill was absolutely no big deal - I think it took 30 seconds all up and all I felt was a slight feeling of pressure around the port area - again - no big deal.
I have an appointment again on the 2nd of April which is around 2-3 weeks - so we'll see how it goes and maybe go for another fill then.....eeeeeh! Very exciting.
My next milestone Im looking forward to is to be given the OK to return to the gym....bring on those spin classes! I really miss the endorphin rush so looking forward to it.
Will do some updated pickies etc. as soon as I get my internet back.
Lots of love to you special girls,
Gabsxx
99.7 kilos
Hello! We've been stuffed around by Telstra something chronic! Still no access to internet and have now been told it will be this Wednesday....so sorry no groovy photos or other stuff.....
I'm about 3 weeks since the operation. I FEEL FANTASTIC! Really back to normal. Until last Thursday, I was feeling hungrier and hungrier and fearing my old habits would raise their ugly head as soon as I got the OK to go onto harder foods. But along came my first check up....so I saw Steve the surgeon last Thursday and due to everything healing so well, he said the magic words, "how about we give you your first fill?" I almost leapt off the table I was lying on - cool! So he only gave me 2mls and said not to be surprised if I feel nothing different as it is such a small amount. BUT -I have felt a bit different., Still hungry at times but it has really helped curb the hunger. The actual fill was absolutely no big deal - I think it took 30 seconds all up and all I felt was a slight feeling of pressure around the port area - again - no big deal.
I have an appointment again on the 2nd of April which is around 2-3 weeks - so we'll see how it goes and maybe go for another fill then.....eeeeeh! Very exciting.
My next milestone Im looking forward to is to be given the OK to return to the gym....bring on those spin classes! I really miss the endorphin rush so looking forward to it.
Will do some updated pickies etc. as soon as I get my internet back.
Lots of love to you special girls,
Gabsxx
17 April 2008
7 weeks banded - 10.5 kgs GONE!
Hi everyone!!! Yes! My internet is back on....will update pictures asap now.
It's been a tough few weeks trying to get this weight going. After I lost 7 kilos it all stopped dead in its tracks - regardless of the work I was putting in. I began to loose momentum and the emotional eating was creeping in. So I decided that I needed to take control, get a bit of structure back and do this! I was also having problems choosing a good breakfast. Like alot of bandsters, breakie is a bit hard to do. BUT I didn't want to just not eat until noon because of the importance of keeping the metabolism going, so I remembered that the Tony Ferguson shakes were quite yummy when I was going through my liquid phases so I decided to give the whole program a go.
Now the weight seems to be flying off me! I don't give T.F all the credit though, I just think it's been a combination of being able to hit the gym again, and get a bit of structure going again. I work best with structure.
One thing I\ve really realised(well I knew it all in theory..) is even though you may have the band....you still have to go on a diet. My definition of a diet is where you are limiting yourself from certain foods, watching the scales, getting in the zone etc. THE BAND IS NOT THE SOLUTION....IS LIKE AN EXTRA SET OF HANDS HELPING YOU TO GET THE JOB DONE. What it will do for me though ( I hope) is reward me for the work I do now by helping me to retain the weightloss....something Ive never been able to do.
So my advice to anyone out there who struggling is remember that YOU have to loose the weight yourself, so if Tony Furguson, WW etc can help to nudge things along, I say go for it. Its certainly got me into the zone now.
Ive been doing 5-6 spin classes a week now and will be starting boxing classes again next week to try to shock my body into weightloss by giving it variety. Her's hoping my current success continues for a while....in the back of my head theres a negative voice saying, " this wont last".....but with the band, I know have help on board so thats very exciting.
Will update more often now that Im back in the 21st century with internet!
Cheers,
Gabsxx
7 weeks banded - 10.5 kgs GONE!
Hi everyone!!! Yes! My internet is back on....will update pictures asap now.
It's been a tough few weeks trying to get this weight going. After I lost 7 kilos it all stopped dead in its tracks - regardless of the work I was putting in. I began to loose momentum and the emotional eating was creeping in. So I decided that I needed to take control, get a bit of structure back and do this! I was also having problems choosing a good breakfast. Like alot of bandsters, breakie is a bit hard to do. BUT I didn't want to just not eat until noon because of the importance of keeping the metabolism going, so I remembered that the Tony Ferguson shakes were quite yummy when I was going through my liquid phases so I decided to give the whole program a go.
Now the weight seems to be flying off me! I don't give T.F all the credit though, I just think it's been a combination of being able to hit the gym again, and get a bit of structure going again. I work best with structure.
One thing I\ve really realised(well I knew it all in theory..) is even though you may have the band....you still have to go on a diet. My definition of a diet is where you are limiting yourself from certain foods, watching the scales, getting in the zone etc. THE BAND IS NOT THE SOLUTION....IS LIKE AN EXTRA SET OF HANDS HELPING YOU TO GET THE JOB DONE. What it will do for me though ( I hope) is reward me for the work I do now by helping me to retain the weightloss....something Ive never been able to do.
So my advice to anyone out there who struggling is remember that YOU have to loose the weight yourself, so if Tony Furguson, WW etc can help to nudge things along, I say go for it. Its certainly got me into the zone now.
Ive been doing 5-6 spin classes a week now and will be starting boxing classes again next week to try to shock my body into weightloss by giving it variety. Her's hoping my current success continues for a while....in the back of my head theres a negative voice saying, " this wont last".....but with the band, I know have help on board so thats very exciting.
Will update more often now that Im back in the 21st century with internet!
Cheers,
Gabsxx
22 April 2008
94.7kgs - 11.3 kilos gone in 8 weeks
Hello!
Just had to vent. Went to the gym last night as usual, but was feeling very proud of myself that I was going to do the spinclass then straight into a boxing class. Haven't done boxing for about 6 mths and Ive really missed it. Have also needed to get into doing other things other than my beloved spin classes all the time so I can hopefully shock the body into dropping more weight. Boxing is a bit of a specialty for me - I did a few years of kickboxing and martial arts a few years ago and LOVED it. SO I was all geared up to do my spin/boxing double.
First, the guy who said last week that he'd be my partner piked out after the spin class. (Typical men huh - no balls!hehee) So I have to face my first return back to boxing on my own. So I get there and I tell the instructor that I need a partner for the class. He says no worries and asks this tiny little size 8 chick if she has a partner....she annoyed me just looking at her really. (OK Im still a bit bitter about the tiny species!)
What got me was after he lined her up with me, she took one look at me and rolled her eyes with this look of,"Oh great, Im not going to get a good work out if Ive gotta do it with Ms Fatty boom ba here!"
She was the typical,"wow look at me - Im so tiny, but Im soooo fit -Im such a pocket rocket"
Her regular partner arrived shortly after and was then put with someone else. As she was holding the pads for me, I could see her looking over at her regular partner and was mouthing the words, "sorry". I was so pissed off that she wrote me off as an unfit fat person. I may be fat....but I ain't unfit!. I got my just desserts towards the end of the class when we started doing boxing combinations. Thats when I let her have it. I belted out those punches so hard and fast she hardly kept up!!!! Finally I had her attention and it was all she could do to keep up with me or she'd have copped one! It was great to see the look on her face to,"oh shit, this chick knows what she's doing". Sucked in. Her whole demeaner changed after that. My didn't - when the class was finished I just put the pads down and left. See ya weakling!
Please don't get the wrong idea!!! In my normal life Im known as a happy go lucky charactere....but when Im written off like that by someone who thought she was this amazing thing....watch out.
Cant wait to loose this weight so I don't have to feel judged like that again.
94.7kgs - 11.3 kilos gone in 8 weeks
Hello!
Just had to vent. Went to the gym last night as usual, but was feeling very proud of myself that I was going to do the spinclass then straight into a boxing class. Haven't done boxing for about 6 mths and Ive really missed it. Have also needed to get into doing other things other than my beloved spin classes all the time so I can hopefully shock the body into dropping more weight. Boxing is a bit of a specialty for me - I did a few years of kickboxing and martial arts a few years ago and LOVED it. SO I was all geared up to do my spin/boxing double.
First, the guy who said last week that he'd be my partner piked out after the spin class. (Typical men huh - no balls!hehee) So I have to face my first return back to boxing on my own. So I get there and I tell the instructor that I need a partner for the class. He says no worries and asks this tiny little size 8 chick if she has a partner....she annoyed me just looking at her really. (OK Im still a bit bitter about the tiny species!)
What got me was after he lined her up with me, she took one look at me and rolled her eyes with this look of,"Oh great, Im not going to get a good work out if Ive gotta do it with Ms Fatty boom ba here!"
She was the typical,"wow look at me - Im so tiny, but Im soooo fit -Im such a pocket rocket"
Her regular partner arrived shortly after and was then put with someone else. As she was holding the pads for me, I could see her looking over at her regular partner and was mouthing the words, "sorry". I was so pissed off that she wrote me off as an unfit fat person. I may be fat....but I ain't unfit!. I got my just desserts towards the end of the class when we started doing boxing combinations. Thats when I let her have it. I belted out those punches so hard and fast she hardly kept up!!!! Finally I had her attention and it was all she could do to keep up with me or she'd have copped one! It was great to see the look on her face to,"oh shit, this chick knows what she's doing". Sucked in. Her whole demeaner changed after that. My didn't - when the class was finished I just put the pads down and left. See ya weakling!
Please don't get the wrong idea!!! In my normal life Im known as a happy go lucky charactere....but when Im written off like that by someone who thought she was this amazing thing....watch out.
Cant wait to loose this weight so I don't have to feel judged like that again.
Wed 30 April 08
94.2kgs..
11.8kgs GONE in 9 weeks
Hi gang!
Feeling good - almost at 12 kilos. Oh man I can't wait till I hit 15. Feeling really focussed and driven to push through the daily struggle of wanting to eat more, or bad things, or to eat carbs etc.
I think my latest weightloss has had to do with banning alcahol from my life during the week. The way I see it, I can not expect to loose weight if I keep eating Big Macs each night(not that I ever did that but Im just drawing the similarities in calories) - likewise I can't expect to loose weight when I pile those calories into my body each night(wine)....sound like an alcaholic don't I! Sadly all I like to have is a glass of wine or 2 each evening....it'd be lovely if I could still do that - but the price to pay is slower weightloss. And I do not want that. There has come a time when Ive just had to be honest and tough with myself and just say NO WINE THROUGH THE WEEK AND THATS IT GABRIELLE!
Am trying to start the running thing and stay away from my spin classes...OK I confess I did one tonight - but it was my scheduled day! Im trying to do:
Day 1- spin
Day 2 - boxing
Day 3 - walk/run
Day 4 - spin
Day 5 - boxing
Day 6 -walk/run
Day 7 -rest
SO I hate running! But hopefully as more weight comes off I'll enjoy it a bit more. I also desperately need to invest in an ipod. Im so motivated by music and just cant get my heart rate up enough without a beat. Also need to invest in a better sports bra!! If anyone has any suggestions on good sports bras Im all ears. Thanks.
The other thing Ive been doing is trying to fill my head up with good inspirational reading - theres some amazing stories of people overcoming obvstacles, persuing dreams and persisting with the dream they have. It's been good brain food for me.
Chat soon - thanks for reading xx
94.2kgs..
11.8kgs GONE in 9 weeks
Hi gang!
Feeling good - almost at 12 kilos. Oh man I can't wait till I hit 15. Feeling really focussed and driven to push through the daily struggle of wanting to eat more, or bad things, or to eat carbs etc.
I think my latest weightloss has had to do with banning alcahol from my life during the week. The way I see it, I can not expect to loose weight if I keep eating Big Macs each night(not that I ever did that but Im just drawing the similarities in calories) - likewise I can't expect to loose weight when I pile those calories into my body each night(wine)....sound like an alcaholic don't I! Sadly all I like to have is a glass of wine or 2 each evening....it'd be lovely if I could still do that - but the price to pay is slower weightloss. And I do not want that. There has come a time when Ive just had to be honest and tough with myself and just say NO WINE THROUGH THE WEEK AND THATS IT GABRIELLE!
Am trying to start the running thing and stay away from my spin classes...OK I confess I did one tonight - but it was my scheduled day! Im trying to do:
Day 1- spin
Day 2 - boxing
Day 3 - walk/run
Day 4 - spin
Day 5 - boxing
Day 6 -walk/run
Day 7 -rest
SO I hate running! But hopefully as more weight comes off I'll enjoy it a bit more. I also desperately need to invest in an ipod. Im so motivated by music and just cant get my heart rate up enough without a beat. Also need to invest in a better sports bra!! If anyone has any suggestions on good sports bras Im all ears. Thanks.
The other thing Ive been doing is trying to fill my head up with good inspirational reading - theres some amazing stories of people overcoming obvstacles, persuing dreams and persisting with the dream they have. It's been good brain food for me.
Chat soon - thanks for reading xx
Thurs 1 May 08
93.5 kgs!!!!!!!!
That's 12.5 in 9 weeks.
How I managed to go down 700g overnight I don't know...and I don't care - fact is Im lighter and Im over the moon!
93.5 kgs!!!!!!!!
That's 12.5 in 9 weeks.
How I managed to go down 700g overnight I don't know...and I don't care - fact is Im lighter and Im over the moon!
Sat 3 May 08
93.7 kgs - 12.3 kgs in 9 weeks
Just wanted to add to my journal that I actually did a walk/run today!! It's all thanks to my new ipod...I can't recommend them enough. Music motivates me to get that heart rate up more than anything else can.
So I did a 40 min session consisting of walking on treadmill at 6.0 for 2 mins, then jogging at 8.0 for 4 mins...then walking for 2mins, then running for 4 mins and so on. I feel the most amazing sense of achievement right now. I cant explain how mush fear I had associated with the idea of running. Well I finally got started with the running thing and though my legs now feel like lead (and yes - it'll be even worse in a day or so) I feel great knowing I conquered that fear.
GABS REMINDER LESSON FOR THE DAY...FITNESS IS SUCH A MIND GAME.
93.7 kgs - 12.3 kgs in 9 weeks
Just wanted to add to my journal that I actually did a walk/run today!! It's all thanks to my new ipod...I can't recommend them enough. Music motivates me to get that heart rate up more than anything else can.
So I did a 40 min session consisting of walking on treadmill at 6.0 for 2 mins, then jogging at 8.0 for 4 mins...then walking for 2mins, then running for 4 mins and so on. I feel the most amazing sense of achievement right now. I cant explain how mush fear I had associated with the idea of running. Well I finally got started with the running thing and though my legs now feel like lead (and yes - it'll be even worse in a day or so) I feel great knowing I conquered that fear.
GABS REMINDER LESSON FOR THE DAY...FITNESS IS SUCH A MIND GAME.
Tues 6 May 08
93kgs - 13 kgs on 10 weeks
Feeling great about hitting the 13 kg mark...feeling craphouse about spending overnight coughing, and when I wasn't coughing, my daughter River was - so not much sleep. Im scheduled to do a run today of all things (if it was spin class Id be fine)...feel like doing a run as much as a hole on the head. Will see how the morning pans out.....it's a test of will versus common sense..dunno
.........well I did it! Very proud - 40 mins of a walk for 2mins/ run for 4mins I'll use the experience for next time when "lazy Gabs" is sitting on my shoulder yelling, "I don't wanna!"
Might even go back and do a spin class tonight!
93kgs - 13 kgs on 10 weeks
Feeling great about hitting the 13 kg mark...feeling craphouse about spending overnight coughing, and when I wasn't coughing, my daughter River was - so not much sleep. Im scheduled to do a run today of all things (if it was spin class Id be fine)...feel like doing a run as much as a hole on the head. Will see how the morning pans out.....it's a test of will versus common sense..dunno
.........well I did it! Very proud - 40 mins of a walk for 2mins/ run for 4mins I'll use the experience for next time when "lazy Gabs" is sitting on my shoulder yelling, "I don't wanna!"
Might even go back and do a spin class tonight!
16 May 2008
91 kgs - 15 kgs gone in 12 weeks
Hello everyone!
Hoping your all good and feeling on track. I'm feeling very on track and trying to celebrate as much as I can my first big milestone of losing my first 15. Its so important to pat yourself on the back when you can.
The running thing hasn't worked out as well as planned. I was sore in places I didn't know I had for the first few days...then the pain slowly dissappeared - except for my hamstring. I think I strained it. So it's put me off again - I really dreaded doing it and then that happened so instead Ive taken up pump classes. So my new regime is 6 days per week of exercise consisting of pump, spin and boxing. I think Im happy to put the running on the back burner for a while and this regime will do for now.
Will update my progress pics next Tuesday - looking forward to see if there are any changes.
Next goal - to get outta the 90's!
Stay on track girls...remember that this feeling of success is better than any food can taste!
xx
91 kgs - 15 kgs gone in 12 weeks
Hello everyone!
Hoping your all good and feeling on track. I'm feeling very on track and trying to celebrate as much as I can my first big milestone of losing my first 15. Its so important to pat yourself on the back when you can.
The running thing hasn't worked out as well as planned. I was sore in places I didn't know I had for the first few days...then the pain slowly dissappeared - except for my hamstring. I think I strained it. So it's put me off again - I really dreaded doing it and then that happened so instead Ive taken up pump classes. So my new regime is 6 days per week of exercise consisting of pump, spin and boxing. I think Im happy to put the running on the back burner for a while and this regime will do for now.
Will update my progress pics next Tuesday - looking forward to see if there are any changes.
Next goal - to get outta the 90's!
Stay on track girls...remember that this feeling of success is better than any food can taste!
xx
18 May 08
90.8 kgs
15.2kgs gone
Hello! Just updated my pics....and to be honest I'm dissappointed. Thought there'd be much more of a difference than there is. Oh well - there's next month I guess.
Have started my pump classes and found an interesting thing happened. I got home from doing my first one last week sometime, and when I got home, I couldn't work out why I was feeling down. You know that weird feeling? Anyway - after a while I worked it out. It was because in the pump class - I was surrounded by mirrors. I hated looking at myself especially next to all these fit and tiny people. In my beloved spin classes I sit in a dimly lit room, sitting down so I kinda feel "tucked away" and not a mirror in sight to remind me that I'm the biggest one there.
Weird how those negative voices get to you hey? It was an interesting analysis of how much I must have been in that class - subconsciously slamming insults at myself...really will try to put that in check because that is NOT going to help me move towards my goals any quicker!
Over and out xx
90.8 kgs
15.2kgs gone
Hello! Just updated my pics....and to be honest I'm dissappointed. Thought there'd be much more of a difference than there is. Oh well - there's next month I guess.
Have started my pump classes and found an interesting thing happened. I got home from doing my first one last week sometime, and when I got home, I couldn't work out why I was feeling down. You know that weird feeling? Anyway - after a while I worked it out. It was because in the pump class - I was surrounded by mirrors. I hated looking at myself especially next to all these fit and tiny people. In my beloved spin classes I sit in a dimly lit room, sitting down so I kinda feel "tucked away" and not a mirror in sight to remind me that I'm the biggest one there.
Weird how those negative voices get to you hey? It was an interesting analysis of how much I must have been in that class - subconsciously slamming insults at myself...really will try to put that in check because that is NOT going to help me move towards my goals any quicker!
Over and out xx
20 May 08
89.9 kgs!!!!!! 16.1 kgs in 13 weeks
I'M OUTTA THE 90'S!!! That's all I have to say. I can't believe the 90's are behind me after 5+ years. What a huge relief...now then....number 85 - where are you? I'm coming to get you!!
:)
89.9 kgs!!!!!! 16.1 kgs in 13 weeks
I'M OUTTA THE 90'S!!! That's all I have to say. I can't believe the 90's are behind me after 5+ years. What a huge relief...now then....number 85 - where are you? I'm coming to get you!!
:)
23 May 08
89.4kgs - 16.6kgs nailed in 13 weeks
Just wanted to add to my journal about the improvement with the pump classes. Ive NOT enjoyed these classes yet as I feel like a fat frump who's never put one foot in front of the other...let alone who is fit when Im there. Im surrounded by tiny fit people who are lifting amazing weights. I hate looking at myself in the mirrors etc blah balh. BUT yesterday I had to up the weight a bit as it was getting a bit easier..so finally now that theres been a bit of an improvement Im not so pessimistic about these classes. Also I kinda know what Im doing a bit more in them so Im glad Ive persisted. I really believe pump is what Ive been needing to add to my routine so Im happy. Id still love to nail the running thing, but maybe when I hit 85 I'll feel courageous enough to start again with that one.
Next goal is 85kgs. At which time I've always said I'd go back to kickboxing - too embarrassed to go back at the moment - when I was last there, I was a regular - the instructor and everyone knew me and I was about 70kgs...so I guess Ive always had a thing about it. If Im 85 at least it wont be as much of a shock when they see me again. Silly aren't I! I shouldn't care what people think, and Ive gotten much better at it, but a fair way to go yet!
Have a great day everyone, thanks for reading my ramble!
89.4kgs - 16.6kgs nailed in 13 weeks
Just wanted to add to my journal about the improvement with the pump classes. Ive NOT enjoyed these classes yet as I feel like a fat frump who's never put one foot in front of the other...let alone who is fit when Im there. Im surrounded by tiny fit people who are lifting amazing weights. I hate looking at myself in the mirrors etc blah balh. BUT yesterday I had to up the weight a bit as it was getting a bit easier..so finally now that theres been a bit of an improvement Im not so pessimistic about these classes. Also I kinda know what Im doing a bit more in them so Im glad Ive persisted. I really believe pump is what Ive been needing to add to my routine so Im happy. Id still love to nail the running thing, but maybe when I hit 85 I'll feel courageous enough to start again with that one.
Next goal is 85kgs. At which time I've always said I'd go back to kickboxing - too embarrassed to go back at the moment - when I was last there, I was a regular - the instructor and everyone knew me and I was about 70kgs...so I guess Ive always had a thing about it. If Im 85 at least it wont be as much of a shock when they see me again. Silly aren't I! I shouldn't care what people think, and Ive gotten much better at it, but a fair way to go yet!
Have a great day everyone, thanks for reading my ramble!
29 May 08
88.5kgs - 17.5kgs over 14 weeks
Had a very up and down few days with the scales. After having a "day off" diet and exercise on Saturday...whereby I drank red wine and bourbon and diet cokes till my hearts content while I was out with gal pals...plus I shared half a bowl of hot chips plus various other nibbles, I jumped on the scales on Sunday morning to find I'd dropped a kilo down to 88.3kgs - oh if only it all it took was drinking alcohol and eating chips!!! heehhee. I think I was being rewarded for the 8 sessions at the gym the week before.
Then the scales jumped back up again the following day and Ive been busting my ass trying to hit 88.3kgs ever since!
I had a mini goal of wanting to get to an 18 kg loss by Sunday which means I'd need to get to 88kgs....but now that it's Thursday I need to drop 500gms in 2.5 days. Not gunna happen me thinks.
Sound like I'm obessing over numbers don't I. I know, I know...but I can't help it!
How are you doing this week? On track? Drop me a line, I'd love to know how everyone's travelling this week towards their goals.
Gabsxx
88.5kgs - 17.5kgs over 14 weeks
Had a very up and down few days with the scales. After having a "day off" diet and exercise on Saturday...whereby I drank red wine and bourbon and diet cokes till my hearts content while I was out with gal pals...plus I shared half a bowl of hot chips plus various other nibbles, I jumped on the scales on Sunday morning to find I'd dropped a kilo down to 88.3kgs - oh if only it all it took was drinking alcohol and eating chips!!! heehhee. I think I was being rewarded for the 8 sessions at the gym the week before.
Then the scales jumped back up again the following day and Ive been busting my ass trying to hit 88.3kgs ever since!
I had a mini goal of wanting to get to an 18 kg loss by Sunday which means I'd need to get to 88kgs....but now that it's Thursday I need to drop 500gms in 2.5 days. Not gunna happen me thinks.
Sound like I'm obessing over numbers don't I. I know, I know...but I can't help it!
How are you doing this week? On track? Drop me a line, I'd love to know how everyone's travelling this week towards their goals.
Gabsxx
1 June 08
88.5kgs - 17.7 in 14 weeks
Well its Sunday night and Ive had a lovely day eating and drinking to my hearts content at a christening....only Im not felling very content now. Ive lost nothing in the past week and it stings like a bugger!
Finding it really hard to muster the energy Im going to need to get rid of more weight this week and Im fearful of the damage Ive done by the excess kj's today and actually Friday night aswell now I think about it. OOhhh God this weight loss game is a hard one!
Sometimes I just feel tired. Tired of struggling to loose weight. Almost frightened when I learn of a social event coming up because the first thing I think of is "will that set me back some weightloss?" Terrible.
I just feel I lost my momentum today. Momentum is soooo important isnt it? When Im on track - Im on track....wild horses couldn't get me off it....but within the blink of an eye, my momentum is gone and I feel vunerable to temptation which sometimes feels like it's all around me. From nibbling on my daughters dinner, to having a "taste" of something yummy Carl is eating, to aninvitation for a few drinks with a girlfriend, oh god the list goes on....
Anyway - just thought Id vent to my little diary here.....
Hoiping your all feeling a bit stronger than me at the memnt....it's Sunday night remember - a great night to have a meeting with yourself and ploy your objectives for the week...if your reading this tomorrow (Monday) Monday is also a great day so no excuses.....find some weekly goals AND GO FOR THEM!
88.5kgs - 17.7 in 14 weeks
Well its Sunday night and Ive had a lovely day eating and drinking to my hearts content at a christening....only Im not felling very content now. Ive lost nothing in the past week and it stings like a bugger!
Finding it really hard to muster the energy Im going to need to get rid of more weight this week and Im fearful of the damage Ive done by the excess kj's today and actually Friday night aswell now I think about it. OOhhh God this weight loss game is a hard one!
Sometimes I just feel tired. Tired of struggling to loose weight. Almost frightened when I learn of a social event coming up because the first thing I think of is "will that set me back some weightloss?" Terrible.
I just feel I lost my momentum today. Momentum is soooo important isnt it? When Im on track - Im on track....wild horses couldn't get me off it....but within the blink of an eye, my momentum is gone and I feel vunerable to temptation which sometimes feels like it's all around me. From nibbling on my daughters dinner, to having a "taste" of something yummy Carl is eating, to aninvitation for a few drinks with a girlfriend, oh god the list goes on....
Anyway - just thought Id vent to my little diary here.....
Hoiping your all feeling a bit stronger than me at the memnt....it's Sunday night remember - a great night to have a meeting with yourself and ploy your objectives for the week...if your reading this tomorrow (Monday) Monday is also a great day so no excuses.....find some weekly goals AND GO FOR THEM!
Tuesday 10 June 08
87.2kgs - 18.8 kgs over 16 weeks
Hi everyone....Ive had a spot of trouble with this piczo thing and it seems to not paste any text box onto the page so Ive ended up typing and retyping which has been very annoying to say the least.
Here we go for another try....
HAd a tough week or so. I got down to 86.7 through the week but over the long weekend....just seemed to flip out and could not stop gorging!! They say idol hands make the devils work or something like that and it's true. On Sat I was stuck at home for most of the day which is quite rare - we're normally out and about all the time. There was an open box of Cheezals Carl left around and through the course of the day they were willing and almost yelling at me to come and eat them!! I had one handful then got a hold of myself and quickly drowned them under water.....!! I do have a tendancy to do that with junkfood that I need out of my life... a weird yet effective habit.
Notwithstanding that....hunting around for something to nibble on...I found a packet of microwave popcorn. Now I haven't had popcorn for almost a year I reckon! Anyway - proceeded to cook it, eat HALF THE WHOLE BAG....then got a hold of myself and quickly drowned them underwater too!!!! hehee
Anyway - the day didnt get better....and Sunday wasn't much good either.....so forgive me Father for I have sinned!
Well it's a new week(sort of because though yesterday was Monday is was a public holiday so it doesn't count) and it's game on Nazi-town!! Lots of punishment on the agenda for the gym and NO unplanned nibbles allowed!!! Will report on my progress as the week goes on.
87.2kgs - 18.8 kgs over 16 weeks
Hi everyone....Ive had a spot of trouble with this piczo thing and it seems to not paste any text box onto the page so Ive ended up typing and retyping which has been very annoying to say the least.
Here we go for another try....
HAd a tough week or so. I got down to 86.7 through the week but over the long weekend....just seemed to flip out and could not stop gorging!! They say idol hands make the devils work or something like that and it's true. On Sat I was stuck at home for most of the day which is quite rare - we're normally out and about all the time. There was an open box of Cheezals Carl left around and through the course of the day they were willing and almost yelling at me to come and eat them!! I had one handful then got a hold of myself and quickly drowned them under water.....!! I do have a tendancy to do that with junkfood that I need out of my life... a weird yet effective habit.
Notwithstanding that....hunting around for something to nibble on...I found a packet of microwave popcorn. Now I haven't had popcorn for almost a year I reckon! Anyway - proceeded to cook it, eat HALF THE WHOLE BAG....then got a hold of myself and quickly drowned them underwater too!!!! hehee
Anyway - the day didnt get better....and Sunday wasn't much good either.....so forgive me Father for I have sinned!
Well it's a new week(sort of because though yesterday was Monday is was a public holiday so it doesn't count) and it's game on Nazi-town!! Lots of punishment on the agenda for the gym and NO unplanned nibbles allowed!!! Will report on my progress as the week goes on.
Thurs 12 June 08
86.4kgs - 19.6kgs over 16 weeks
OK - we're doing better. As soon as I create a "zero tolerance" for ANY unplanned nibbles/bites/crumbs...I loose weight.
Have been trying to spike the heart rate to hit 180 at least once per spin session and was proud last night that I managed to hit 180 at 3 different times throughout the session. I worked hard and also up'd the weights a smidge for pump this morning. Was tough...but low and behold...I didn't die, have a calf muscle blow out, put my back out, have a heart attack etc.! I need to remember that when facing new challenges - so easy to wrap yourself in cotton wool and make excuses due to fear.
Hoping your going well? On track? Know what your goals are for this week? Listen to me hey?!! Should practice what I preach a little more....hehee
86.4kgs - 19.6kgs over 16 weeks
OK - we're doing better. As soon as I create a "zero tolerance" for ANY unplanned nibbles/bites/crumbs...I loose weight.
Have been trying to spike the heart rate to hit 180 at least once per spin session and was proud last night that I managed to hit 180 at 3 different times throughout the session. I worked hard and also up'd the weights a smidge for pump this morning. Was tough...but low and behold...I didn't die, have a calf muscle blow out, put my back out, have a heart attack etc.! I need to remember that when facing new challenges - so easy to wrap yourself in cotton wool and make excuses due to fear.
Hoping your going well? On track? Know what your goals are for this week? Listen to me hey?!! Should practice what I preach a little more....hehee
Friday 13th....oooh!
85.7kgs....oh yes....wait for it....20.3 kgs in 16 weeks
Yarrrr bloody hooo! Feeling great. How could I not be....I've waited long and hard for this reward and it feels great. I almost got emotional thismorning talking to my Carl about how difficult the first two weeks after surgery was...the painful 1 year wait till my private health kicked in...etc. It was all worth it. I'm half way now and know the next 20 kilos will be harder than the first but Im ready for the challenge and to finish this thing. Finish it!!!!!!
85.7kgs....oh yes....wait for it....20.3 kgs in 16 weeks
Yarrrr bloody hooo! Feeling great. How could I not be....I've waited long and hard for this reward and it feels great. I almost got emotional thismorning talking to my Carl about how difficult the first two weeks after surgery was...the painful 1 year wait till my private health kicked in...etc. It was all worth it. I'm half way now and know the next 20 kilos will be harder than the first but Im ready for the challenge and to finish this thing. Finish it!!!!!!
Thurs 19 June 08
85.3 kgs - 20.7kgs in 17 weeks
Hello! Had a very low low day yesterday. Scales hadn't moved so it didnt start well. Spoke to someone really rude (a hairdresser) and got off the phone almost in tears!!! Didn't realise I was that close to the edge of things....having Aunty Flo at the moment doesnt help I guess.
Anyway - Amamzing how a nights sleep can change things...lost a bit more so now feeling like I can continue this marathon again.
To anyone who isnt loosing or is plateauing etc. I take my hat off to you for continuing the fight. Keep going and you really will be rewarded (that was just a mental note to myself for a reminder). Its all good and well to be really strict on yourself, ploughing through exercise sessions etc when thrte scales are moving...thats when it's easy - the true test of endurance I think is to keep pushing yourself when nothing comes back to you as far as a reward.
I sooo can't wait to get into the low 80's....because that means the 70's are around the corner...what a dream that will be to get there. It seems like a dream at the moment.....but kilo by kilo I just keep telling myself. Just get to the next kilo - don't worry about the total.
Later dudesxx
85.3 kgs - 20.7kgs in 17 weeks
Hello! Had a very low low day yesterday. Scales hadn't moved so it didnt start well. Spoke to someone really rude (a hairdresser) and got off the phone almost in tears!!! Didn't realise I was that close to the edge of things....having Aunty Flo at the moment doesnt help I guess.
Anyway - Amamzing how a nights sleep can change things...lost a bit more so now feeling like I can continue this marathon again.
To anyone who isnt loosing or is plateauing etc. I take my hat off to you for continuing the fight. Keep going and you really will be rewarded (that was just a mental note to myself for a reminder). Its all good and well to be really strict on yourself, ploughing through exercise sessions etc when thrte scales are moving...thats when it's easy - the true test of endurance I think is to keep pushing yourself when nothing comes back to you as far as a reward.
I sooo can't wait to get into the low 80's....because that means the 70's are around the corner...what a dream that will be to get there. It seems like a dream at the moment.....but kilo by kilo I just keep telling myself. Just get to the next kilo - don't worry about the total.
Later dudesxx
Mon 23rd June 08
84.2kgs - 21.8kgs over 17weeks
Hello! Feeling much better. Had a good loss the day after I wrote my last entry and sure enough - felt on fire again. I actually got down to 83.8 but the alcahol binge on Saturday night took care of that yesterday and has made me now pay for it...hehhee I deserve a beating after all the wine and then Yum Cha I had on Sunday...bad combo when your trying to be amazing and loose 3000 kilos.
Anyway - I have been trying to think of a way to sum up my feelings on what I need to acomplish this week as far as food and exercise and I sat behind a (rather hot) guy in my spin class tonight and the universe answered my question. He had a tank top on and on the back were the words in big letters..."NO HOLDS BARRED". That is soooo me this week. I like getting agressive with this weight. It's like a battle or a fight...and I am going to win this week - look out fat....I'm a comin for ya!!!! (yeah OK I know Im nuts)
84.2kgs - 21.8kgs over 17weeks
Hello! Feeling much better. Had a good loss the day after I wrote my last entry and sure enough - felt on fire again. I actually got down to 83.8 but the alcahol binge on Saturday night took care of that yesterday and has made me now pay for it...hehhee I deserve a beating after all the wine and then Yum Cha I had on Sunday...bad combo when your trying to be amazing and loose 3000 kilos.
Anyway - I have been trying to think of a way to sum up my feelings on what I need to acomplish this week as far as food and exercise and I sat behind a (rather hot) guy in my spin class tonight and the universe answered my question. He had a tank top on and on the back were the words in big letters..."NO HOLDS BARRED". That is soooo me this week. I like getting agressive with this weight. It's like a battle or a fight...and I am going to win this week - look out fat....I'm a comin for ya!!!! (yeah OK I know Im nuts)
Sunday 29 June 08
82.4kgs - 23.6kgs gone
Hello! Had some great progress with the ol running. Am now running on level 8 for 30 mins. Yahoo. Will try to increase this as the week goes on. Thank God for the ipod thats all I can say.
Had a quiet weekend and was determined to dig in and not have this backward step Ive been doing every weekend. A few drinks on the weekend then I have to spend the first part of the following week trying to get back to where I was the Friday before. Tiring. So I put in a good day of eating and exercising but only lost 100gms. Oh well - hoping this week will reward me a bit more.
Had low blood pressure the past few weeks so I need to watch that aswell.
This weeks goal...lets see....
A kilo would be great. So -
1 Id like to push it some more with the running and do it at least 2 times
2 make sure I get to 3 pumps this week
3 hit 180 bpm 3 times each spin class.And do 3 of the classes this week
4 As for eating - minimal nibbles outside "the plan".
Can I do it??? Lets see - I'll keep you posted.
Go hard xx
82.4kgs - 23.6kgs gone
Hello! Had some great progress with the ol running. Am now running on level 8 for 30 mins. Yahoo. Will try to increase this as the week goes on. Thank God for the ipod thats all I can say.
Had a quiet weekend and was determined to dig in and not have this backward step Ive been doing every weekend. A few drinks on the weekend then I have to spend the first part of the following week trying to get back to where I was the Friday before. Tiring. So I put in a good day of eating and exercising but only lost 100gms. Oh well - hoping this week will reward me a bit more.
Had low blood pressure the past few weeks so I need to watch that aswell.
This weeks goal...lets see....
A kilo would be great. So -
1 Id like to push it some more with the running and do it at least 2 times
2 make sure I get to 3 pumps this week
3 hit 180 bpm 3 times each spin class.And do 3 of the classes this week
4 As for eating - minimal nibbles outside "the plan".
Can I do it??? Lets see - I'll keep you posted.
Go hard xx
30 June 2008
82.9kgs - 23.1kgs gone
Yep - I know! half a kilo ON overnight!!! Im shattered.I worked SSOOO hard this weekend to keep the weightloss going this weekend, unlike the past few weeks where everything came undone after 1 night of nibbles and drinks. UNLIKE the previous weeks I thought well how refreshing that come Monday, I won't have to face spending the first part of the week RE-loosing the weight Id worked so hard to loose the week before.
BUT ooohhhhh no (sorry about the sarcasm) sure enough this morning Id put weight back on. I may as well have just gone out drinking and had a ball. Instead the only boo-boo I made all friggin week was last night when I got home from the gym....my 9th session this week mind you, I was exhausted and made River a tuna pasta and I couldn't resist a small bowl full. I also went on to have a glass of red wine and half a piece of Carl's garlic bread. That was seriously the only thing I put into my mouth that I shouldn't have ALL WEEK! Not even one bite of Rivers yummy sandwiches...not one bite of the mashed potato I made for Carl...not one iota of the muffins everyone else was having at playgroup..NOTHING!
Anyway....just had to vent. At least theres this - rather than think ahhh stuff it...I just get angrier and more focussed. I will get out of the 80's if it kills me. I will train hard. I will stick to my food program like an Olympian. I will be making those goals happen and every day will be a chance to reach out and get to those goals. If the fat wants a fight...it's game on!...(I wonder if I'll look back and read this and be thinking in hindsight I shoulda got some professional help....hehhee! Probably a good idea only I have no time.....Im too busy at the gym!!!)
82.9kgs - 23.1kgs gone
Yep - I know! half a kilo ON overnight!!! Im shattered.I worked SSOOO hard this weekend to keep the weightloss going this weekend, unlike the past few weeks where everything came undone after 1 night of nibbles and drinks. UNLIKE the previous weeks I thought well how refreshing that come Monday, I won't have to face spending the first part of the week RE-loosing the weight Id worked so hard to loose the week before.
BUT ooohhhhh no (sorry about the sarcasm) sure enough this morning Id put weight back on. I may as well have just gone out drinking and had a ball. Instead the only boo-boo I made all friggin week was last night when I got home from the gym....my 9th session this week mind you, I was exhausted and made River a tuna pasta and I couldn't resist a small bowl full. I also went on to have a glass of red wine and half a piece of Carl's garlic bread. That was seriously the only thing I put into my mouth that I shouldn't have ALL WEEK! Not even one bite of Rivers yummy sandwiches...not one bite of the mashed potato I made for Carl...not one iota of the muffins everyone else was having at playgroup..NOTHING!
Anyway....just had to vent. At least theres this - rather than think ahhh stuff it...I just get angrier and more focussed. I will get out of the 80's if it kills me. I will train hard. I will stick to my food program like an Olympian. I will be making those goals happen and every day will be a chance to reach out and get to those goals. If the fat wants a fight...it's game on!...(I wonder if I'll look back and read this and be thinking in hindsight I shoulda got some professional help....hehhee! Probably a good idea only I have no time.....Im too busy at the gym!!!)
Friday 4 July 08
82.7kgs - 23.3kgs gone in 19 weeks
OK so the deal at the moment is that my weight has been all over the place. Its scared the crap out of me because Ive been really good with food and hardcore training etc. Im guessing that this is a major plateau and Ive just got to push through it. Ive been teary, moody, upset and I think now Ive come out the other side.
Ive been thinking of all the people in history who've had obstacles and failed at things before they were really successful. The guy who came up with the KFC recipe for the chicken banged on 1000's of doors before someone would take him on...the guy who invented the lightbulb failed countless times before it got the bulb going.......theres more I just can't think of them right now. All I know is is that I feel my strength of endurance is being tested. I will conquer this weight problem of mine. I will finish something Ive started. I am going to get to my ideal weight. Ive just gotta show the universe how well I can manage the bumps in the road. I will do it....just watch.
82.7kgs - 23.3kgs gone in 19 weeks
OK so the deal at the moment is that my weight has been all over the place. Its scared the crap out of me because Ive been really good with food and hardcore training etc. Im guessing that this is a major plateau and Ive just got to push through it. Ive been teary, moody, upset and I think now Ive come out the other side.
Ive been thinking of all the people in history who've had obstacles and failed at things before they were really successful. The guy who came up with the KFC recipe for the chicken banged on 1000's of doors before someone would take him on...the guy who invented the lightbulb failed countless times before it got the bulb going.......theres more I just can't think of them right now. All I know is is that I feel my strength of endurance is being tested. I will conquer this weight problem of mine. I will finish something Ive started. I am going to get to my ideal weight. Ive just gotta show the universe how well I can manage the bumps in the road. I will do it....just watch.
Sat 5 July 08
81.7 kgs - 24.3 kgs down over 19 weeks
Finally the scales moved.
Word for the week - endurance. Gotta understand the power of endurance even when the chips are down.
Have friends coming over tonight...lots of nibbles will be around...you know how bad I am with nibbles!!! Wish me luck.
81.7 kgs - 24.3 kgs down over 19 weeks
Finally the scales moved.
Word for the week - endurance. Gotta understand the power of endurance even when the chips are down.
Have friends coming over tonight...lots of nibbles will be around...you know how bad I am with nibbles!!! Wish me luck.
Sat 12 July 2008
81 kgs - 25 kilos gone!
Oh God that's almost killed me! The past 5 kilos have seen me crying in the carpark of the gym, moody and pissed off with family...then high as a kite a moment later as I try to keep level headed.....ahhh the list goes on. Fact is - it's gone. Thank God.....I literally have several times this morning.
A few happy milestones to speak of:
1. 25 kilos gone
2. I tried on a few pairs of size 16 jeans the other day and they no longer fit me....cause they are too big!
3. I can run on the tready for half an hour alternating between level 8.5 and 9 every 2 to 3 mins...and I actually ran on level 9 for the last 5 minutes of the session.
Note to self - I MUST remember these important milestones when things get tough again. Endurance and persistance will take me to my goal weight of 66 kilos...not seeing a major loss on the scales every day...because that never happens.
mwah everybody. I talk about all of you alot to friends and family and they think we are all amazing. Go us.
81 kgs - 25 kilos gone!
Oh God that's almost killed me! The past 5 kilos have seen me crying in the carpark of the gym, moody and pissed off with family...then high as a kite a moment later as I try to keep level headed.....ahhh the list goes on. Fact is - it's gone. Thank God.....I literally have several times this morning.
A few happy milestones to speak of:
1. 25 kilos gone
2. I tried on a few pairs of size 16 jeans the other day and they no longer fit me....cause they are too big!
3. I can run on the tready for half an hour alternating between level 8.5 and 9 every 2 to 3 mins...and I actually ran on level 9 for the last 5 minutes of the session.
Note to self - I MUST remember these important milestones when things get tough again. Endurance and persistance will take me to my goal weight of 66 kilos...not seeing a major loss on the scales every day...because that never happens.
mwah everybody. I talk about all of you alot to friends and family and they think we are all amazing. Go us.
17 July 08
79.7kgs - 26.3kgs gone in 20 weeks.
GOOD RIDDANCE TO THE 80'S! Glad to see the back of you...you almost broke me....but you didn't!
The relief for me thismorning is indescribable. I'm still stoked about making it to 97kgs...let alone 79kilos!!
I feel on top of the world and like a dream has come true.
I reached another milestone yesterday. For all of my daughter River's life (2.5years) she has never seen me play in amoungst the play equipment at the park. Ive never slid down the slipperydip with her, only looked on trying to be as enthusiastic as possible to make up for not being as fun as Daddy is at the park (he climbs around like a monkey with her). But yesterday I gave it a go. Ive always been too scared that Id break the damn thing. So as I tentively stepped up and up this climbing equipment I chanted to myself, "80 kg people don't break things....80kg people don't break things..." and I had the best time!! Together we chased eachother, slid down the slippery dips and it was funny to see River's face. Her expression was one of, "hhhmmm - this is weird that Mummy's playing with me on this equipment....but hell - I like it!" I won't forget yesterday in a hurry and it's a reminder that everyone in the family wins in this weight loss battle.
OK - so my next goal....well at my lightest, I got to 73kgs. Im after that number and once there, I'll be in unchartered territory - never been lighter than that in my adult life. Lets go!
Updating pics next week - hopefully will see some more improvement. Stay tuned!
79.7kgs - 26.3kgs gone in 20 weeks.
GOOD RIDDANCE TO THE 80'S! Glad to see the back of you...you almost broke me....but you didn't!
The relief for me thismorning is indescribable. I'm still stoked about making it to 97kgs...let alone 79kilos!!
I feel on top of the world and like a dream has come true.
I reached another milestone yesterday. For all of my daughter River's life (2.5years) she has never seen me play in amoungst the play equipment at the park. Ive never slid down the slipperydip with her, only looked on trying to be as enthusiastic as possible to make up for not being as fun as Daddy is at the park (he climbs around like a monkey with her). But yesterday I gave it a go. Ive always been too scared that Id break the damn thing. So as I tentively stepped up and up this climbing equipment I chanted to myself, "80 kg people don't break things....80kg people don't break things..." and I had the best time!! Together we chased eachother, slid down the slippery dips and it was funny to see River's face. Her expression was one of, "hhhmmm - this is weird that Mummy's playing with me on this equipment....but hell - I like it!" I won't forget yesterday in a hurry and it's a reminder that everyone in the family wins in this weight loss battle.
OK - so my next goal....well at my lightest, I got to 73kgs. Im after that number and once there, I'll be in unchartered territory - never been lighter than that in my adult life. Lets go!
Updating pics next week - hopefully will see some more improvement. Stay tuned!
11 August 08
77.2kgs - 28.8kgs down
Havent written here for a while but have been struggling to get to the big 3-0. Would LOVE to get there and hopefully will one day!!
Whats drawn me back to this journal is a need to send out to the universe my commitment for this week. Time to get angry again....whenever I see this weightloss as some kind of demon that would LIKE me to stay fat....I seem to find this "anger" from somewhere, I dig in and results happen. Ive been eating to my hearts content over the past week (lots of family events on) and also had a few weekends of drinking whatever I like.
This week -
1) No unplanned nibbles
2) 2-3 runs on the treadmill at least
3) Spin classes
4) Pump classes
Time to regroup with myself, visualise my goals, plan for the day ahead (eg. checking I have eggs in the fridge so I don't resort to toast for breakie etc), dig in and see EVERY time I resist something I shouldn't be having as an opportunity to move closer to my goals.
Time for a bit of suffering....time to dig in and give it my best.
77.2kgs - 28.8kgs down
Havent written here for a while but have been struggling to get to the big 3-0. Would LOVE to get there and hopefully will one day!!
Whats drawn me back to this journal is a need to send out to the universe my commitment for this week. Time to get angry again....whenever I see this weightloss as some kind of demon that would LIKE me to stay fat....I seem to find this "anger" from somewhere, I dig in and results happen. Ive been eating to my hearts content over the past week (lots of family events on) and also had a few weekends of drinking whatever I like.
This week -
1) No unplanned nibbles
2) 2-3 runs on the treadmill at least
3) Spin classes
4) Pump classes
Time to regroup with myself, visualise my goals, plan for the day ahead (eg. checking I have eggs in the fridge so I don't resort to toast for breakie etc), dig in and see EVERY time I resist something I shouldn't be having as an opportunity to move closer to my goals.
Time for a bit of suffering....time to dig in and give it my best.
Wed 13th August 08
30 kgs down over 25 weeks....76 kgs
I only have 2 things to say.....
3 and 0
I did it!!!! 30 kgs down...there I just had to write it agian....I have dreamed of the day of being able to say that.
There are two tracks on my ipod that have gone round and round in my head lately
1. The Pretender by Foo Fighters...
"what if I say Im not like the others. What if I say Im not just another one of your plays...YOUR the pretender...what if I say I WILL NEVER SURRENDER" I always imagine myself yelling this to the weight loss demon who has dominated my life until now and who WANTS me to stay fat.
and -
2. Fighter - Christina Agulleria
"I am a fighter, you won't stop me"
Nothing can shake this amazing feeling I have today. I feel like Im fighting Golieth and Im David....but I'm winning the fight! Your going down Golieth!
30 kgs down over 25 weeks....76 kgs
I only have 2 things to say.....
3 and 0
I did it!!!! 30 kgs down...there I just had to write it agian....I have dreamed of the day of being able to say that.
There are two tracks on my ipod that have gone round and round in my head lately
1. The Pretender by Foo Fighters...
"what if I say Im not like the others. What if I say Im not just another one of your plays...YOUR the pretender...what if I say I WILL NEVER SURRENDER" I always imagine myself yelling this to the weight loss demon who has dominated my life until now and who WANTS me to stay fat.
and -
2. Fighter - Christina Agulleria
"I am a fighter, you won't stop me"
Nothing can shake this amazing feeling I have today. I feel like Im fighting Golieth and Im David....but I'm winning the fight! Your going down Golieth!
Tues 26 Aug
74.5 kgs - 31.5 gone
Hello! Had lots on lately - then went off to "Band Camp" in Melbourne over the weekend - then started my Personal Training course last night. Not sure if Ive mentioned either in my posts so I will briefly now:
1. Band Camp - highly highly recommended. Andy - a PT who has had a band and now helps others to get on board with maximising their success through fitness. He runs a 2 day camp for those who've had a band where it's a fantastic opportunity for us bandits to meet and share tips and gain alot of support. Im sure many solid friendships are forged through the camp also. Its truely a very special thing to do for yourself and you gain so much. We had an awesome time.
2. Personal Training!!!! Yes - my career goal is to become a personal trainer and I'd like to specifically work with people who've had a band and those wanting to loose significant amounts of weight! So theres a big plan in the process and without giving you all the boring bits - Im really excited. I started the course last night and though it'll be a tough 16 weeks ahead - at the end of it all I'll be a qualified PT! So Sydney people - Im going to be here for you next year so think about becoming a client!
I thought I'd add on here an excert from a message I sent to one of the gorgeous girls who went to the camp. She really inspired me both personally with my own weight loss but also with my goals of becoming a PT. In the message I was sharing with her a funny moment last night at the course and I couldnt be bothered re writing it so here it is:
Hi gorgeous Nicky baby!!!!
Wow - what an amazing message to read. I have goosebumps. Thanks so much for your fantastic aura and energy over the weekend - was soo nice meeting you and can't wait to run over that finishing line together!! Yep - count me in for spa-camp!! Cant wait.
I cant believe what you just did this morning on that tready! Well done mate. I know its hard to leave the bubble of clean eating and motivation, I felt the same. BUT!!! it's NOW that you have to be true to your commitment..in the hard times...not when it's all rosey...each time you practice exercising when you don't want to/saying no to nibbles or naughties....your getting better at showing the "fat demon" that you are stronger than him (or her?...naaa a fat demon would have to be a him..hehhee).
My course was sooo scary to go to last night!!! I had lots of negatives running around my head.."your a fat 35yr old" was one of the highlights...nasty to myself hey?! I was so worried about being the fattest and oldest there. Well there was certianly noone with weight issues there but I did spot 2 women I think looked older...again - nasty but it made me feel a bit better.
But get this - they announced it was time to go a get fitted for the polo shirts they want us to wear each class....so up I go and when they said "what size are you?" I of course said "definately a large please". They then....to my horror....handed me a size 12 and said that those were the largest they had. I'm sure I saw stars at that point. I frigging freaked. Anyway....put it on and it fits!!!! a little short for my liking...but it fits so thank God Ive lost the weight I have or I would have had to have an incredibly embarrassing situation on my hands. Seriously if I was 5 kilos heavier it would not have fit me - oh man that was a heart strarter!
Lastly I wanted to add - that I had about 10 minutes up my sleeve last night before I went into the school....so I sat in my car and was looking through the photos on my camera and came across the one of you and me after our run when we were doing the silly olympic pose....seriously, that photo reminded me of what I really want to do with my career - the satisfaction it gave me to see you punching the air like that after you overcame that fear!!!!!....that's what its all about - us overcoming fears and going for our dreams. Its that photo that gave me the courage to not listen to the negative thoughts and go in there and strut my stuff!!! So thanks.
74.5 kgs - 31.5 gone
Hello! Had lots on lately - then went off to "Band Camp" in Melbourne over the weekend - then started my Personal Training course last night. Not sure if Ive mentioned either in my posts so I will briefly now:
1. Band Camp - highly highly recommended. Andy - a PT who has had a band and now helps others to get on board with maximising their success through fitness. He runs a 2 day camp for those who've had a band where it's a fantastic opportunity for us bandits to meet and share tips and gain alot of support. Im sure many solid friendships are forged through the camp also. Its truely a very special thing to do for yourself and you gain so much. We had an awesome time.
2. Personal Training!!!! Yes - my career goal is to become a personal trainer and I'd like to specifically work with people who've had a band and those wanting to loose significant amounts of weight! So theres a big plan in the process and without giving you all the boring bits - Im really excited. I started the course last night and though it'll be a tough 16 weeks ahead - at the end of it all I'll be a qualified PT! So Sydney people - Im going to be here for you next year so think about becoming a client!
I thought I'd add on here an excert from a message I sent to one of the gorgeous girls who went to the camp. She really inspired me both personally with my own weight loss but also with my goals of becoming a PT. In the message I was sharing with her a funny moment last night at the course and I couldnt be bothered re writing it so here it is:
Hi gorgeous Nicky baby!!!!
Wow - what an amazing message to read. I have goosebumps. Thanks so much for your fantastic aura and energy over the weekend - was soo nice meeting you and can't wait to run over that finishing line together!! Yep - count me in for spa-camp!! Cant wait.
I cant believe what you just did this morning on that tready! Well done mate. I know its hard to leave the bubble of clean eating and motivation, I felt the same. BUT!!! it's NOW that you have to be true to your commitment..in the hard times...not when it's all rosey...each time you practice exercising when you don't want to/saying no to nibbles or naughties....your getting better at showing the "fat demon" that you are stronger than him (or her?...naaa a fat demon would have to be a him..hehhee).
My course was sooo scary to go to last night!!! I had lots of negatives running around my head.."your a fat 35yr old" was one of the highlights...nasty to myself hey?! I was so worried about being the fattest and oldest there. Well there was certianly noone with weight issues there but I did spot 2 women I think looked older...again - nasty but it made me feel a bit better.
But get this - they announced it was time to go a get fitted for the polo shirts they want us to wear each class....so up I go and when they said "what size are you?" I of course said "definately a large please". They then....to my horror....handed me a size 12 and said that those were the largest they had. I'm sure I saw stars at that point. I frigging freaked. Anyway....put it on and it fits!!!! a little short for my liking...but it fits so thank God Ive lost the weight I have or I would have had to have an incredibly embarrassing situation on my hands. Seriously if I was 5 kilos heavier it would not have fit me - oh man that was a heart strarter!
Lastly I wanted to add - that I had about 10 minutes up my sleeve last night before I went into the school....so I sat in my car and was looking through the photos on my camera and came across the one of you and me after our run when we were doing the silly olympic pose....seriously, that photo reminded me of what I really want to do with my career - the satisfaction it gave me to see you punching the air like that after you overcame that fear!!!!!....that's what its all about - us overcoming fears and going for our dreams. Its that photo that gave me the courage to not listen to the negative thoughts and go in there and strut my stuff!!! So thanks.
Sunday 14 Sept
73kgs. 33 gone. 7 to go.
Hello everyone! Hoping your all doing really weell and excited about your weightloss!
Im doing OK. Weight is really slowing down now...but that's OK with me. Enjoying feeling like a normal person! In my head Im still 106 kilos though and its a weird, hard concept to have the brain understand that I will no longer risk breaking a chair...that it's OK to climb on the play equipment with River and that I won't send the whole thing colliding down on top of everyone....or that I won't break the sky train at the zoo!
I'm loving my Personal Training course! Met some great people and I can't WAIT to get started helping others to achieve amazing things no matter how big or small their goals are. Its funny meeting these class mates of mine in the course. I sit there among them and to them, I look like a regular girl...they have NO idea of how big I was and the hard slog Ive endured..just to be able to sit there among them looking normal. I love it and it makes me appreciate all those hours in the gym Ive spent challenging myself...and all those moments of saying no to a bit of this, a bit of that.
So guys and girls - if you are after a Personal Trainer next year...let me at you! Make sure you stay in touch with me and we'll work something out.
If Mandy or Nicole are reading this - hello! So sorry I havent gotten back to you yet - actually Nic Ive lost your number and would love to call you - could you email it to me again?
River is crawling all over me now so id better go - chat soon
Gabsxxxxxxxxxxx
73kgs. 33 gone. 7 to go.
Hello everyone! Hoping your all doing really weell and excited about your weightloss!
Im doing OK. Weight is really slowing down now...but that's OK with me. Enjoying feeling like a normal person! In my head Im still 106 kilos though and its a weird, hard concept to have the brain understand that I will no longer risk breaking a chair...that it's OK to climb on the play equipment with River and that I won't send the whole thing colliding down on top of everyone....or that I won't break the sky train at the zoo!
I'm loving my Personal Training course! Met some great people and I can't WAIT to get started helping others to achieve amazing things no matter how big or small their goals are. Its funny meeting these class mates of mine in the course. I sit there among them and to them, I look like a regular girl...they have NO idea of how big I was and the hard slog Ive endured..just to be able to sit there among them looking normal. I love it and it makes me appreciate all those hours in the gym Ive spent challenging myself...and all those moments of saying no to a bit of this, a bit of that.
So guys and girls - if you are after a Personal Trainer next year...let me at you! Make sure you stay in touch with me and we'll work something out.
If Mandy or Nicole are reading this - hello! So sorry I havent gotten back to you yet - actually Nic Ive lost your number and would love to call you - could you email it to me again?
River is crawling all over me now so id better go - chat soon
Gabsxxxxxxxxxxx
14 Oct 08
72 kgs 34 gone....6 to go
Hello!!! Sorry I dissappeared there for a while! Chris you are so lovely to remind me that I have neglected this page!!! I seriously forget that anyone actually reads it and always feel so chuffed when I am reminded - isn't that silly!
So things on the scales haven't changed much. Not as devestated as I used to be...as I am still changing shape I think. Lots of size 12 stuff fits me now which is a complete dream come true. It feels like yesterday I was stoked to be back into the size 18 stuff....now here i am. Lots has changed since Feb this year!
Im really enjoying being a "regular" person! I know thats a bad choice of words but Im sure you know what I mean. I like going into a shop these days and rather than thinking that the assistant is thinking, 'get outta here fatty - nothings going to fit you here"..I get so much more attention and get the sense that they are looking at me as a potential buyer...not a tyre kicker! hehhee
When looking for clothes I am still searching for the XL...to then find that not the L...but the M actually fits is like I am dreaming and I then think,"oh well - this particualar brand MUST be a big make". My head has not caught up by any means yet.
However I am enjoying the ease of gettting dressed so much. Back in Feb this year and before that...I would almost have anxiety attacks (actually I think they were) finding something to put on....and that was just to whip up to the shops...let alone an actual event. I could cry now thinking about how awful it was. It's these moments of reflection that make me feel so passionately about bringing other overweight people to where I am now. Words cannot describe how much I want others to feel the same way.
Don't get me wrong..Im not bouncing out of bed every moring thinking wow look at me! I still have the fat issues swimming around my head and technically Im still overweight...its just that sense of peace I now have which offers so much more room for other things.
So! Where to from here? Well Im loving my PT course and can't wait to get cracking. Im having a bit of a "launch" party in Jan to celebrate my achievements (hopefully I'll be at goal by then) and also to launch my business and get family/friends etc to come along and hear about my journey and send out the word to others who may need a PT for next year! Word of mouth is so powerful and I intend to work it!
In the meantime I need to work on these pesky 6 or 7 kilos. Its damn hard. Im needing to dig just as deep as I have for the other 34 so my will to get there, strength and commitment is needed so much. The messages that people have sent me have been AMAZINGLY inspirational. Thanks so much and please drop me a line and say hi when you click onto my page.
Promise to be more regular with my journal from here on in and will update pics again at the end of the month.
GAbsxxxx
72 kgs 34 gone....6 to go
Hello!!! Sorry I dissappeared there for a while! Chris you are so lovely to remind me that I have neglected this page!!! I seriously forget that anyone actually reads it and always feel so chuffed when I am reminded - isn't that silly!
So things on the scales haven't changed much. Not as devestated as I used to be...as I am still changing shape I think. Lots of size 12 stuff fits me now which is a complete dream come true. It feels like yesterday I was stoked to be back into the size 18 stuff....now here i am. Lots has changed since Feb this year!
Im really enjoying being a "regular" person! I know thats a bad choice of words but Im sure you know what I mean. I like going into a shop these days and rather than thinking that the assistant is thinking, 'get outta here fatty - nothings going to fit you here"..I get so much more attention and get the sense that they are looking at me as a potential buyer...not a tyre kicker! hehhee
When looking for clothes I am still searching for the XL...to then find that not the L...but the M actually fits is like I am dreaming and I then think,"oh well - this particualar brand MUST be a big make". My head has not caught up by any means yet.
However I am enjoying the ease of gettting dressed so much. Back in Feb this year and before that...I would almost have anxiety attacks (actually I think they were) finding something to put on....and that was just to whip up to the shops...let alone an actual event. I could cry now thinking about how awful it was. It's these moments of reflection that make me feel so passionately about bringing other overweight people to where I am now. Words cannot describe how much I want others to feel the same way.
Don't get me wrong..Im not bouncing out of bed every moring thinking wow look at me! I still have the fat issues swimming around my head and technically Im still overweight...its just that sense of peace I now have which offers so much more room for other things.
So! Where to from here? Well Im loving my PT course and can't wait to get cracking. Im having a bit of a "launch" party in Jan to celebrate my achievements (hopefully I'll be at goal by then) and also to launch my business and get family/friends etc to come along and hear about my journey and send out the word to others who may need a PT for next year! Word of mouth is so powerful and I intend to work it!
In the meantime I need to work on these pesky 6 or 7 kilos. Its damn hard. Im needing to dig just as deep as I have for the other 34 so my will to get there, strength and commitment is needed so much. The messages that people have sent me have been AMAZINGLY inspirational. Thanks so much and please drop me a line and say hi when you click onto my page.
Promise to be more regular with my journal from here on in and will update pics again at the end of the month.
GAbsxxxx
30 Oct 08
72kgs
Hi people! Still hanging in there I hope? This whole weightloss gig is so damn hard isnt it....and it doesnt get any easier either! Well thats what Im finding. My course has taken soooo much time away from my training that my weight is really suffering at the moment. And when Im not training hard, the eating goes a bit off aswell....so the weight has been fluctuating badly! SO?? What to do what to do. Well yesterday I thought to myself that really...it's time to stand up, dust myself off and if something is'nt working - then its time to simply CHANGE TACTICS! Also to stop complaining about the current obstacles (as valid as they are) and quite frankly, open up a can of TOUGHEN-UP!
I remembered that the tony Ferguson program really offered me a sense of routine and control when I went off the rails once before...and though I think its a program you can only really do for a short while before it all becomes too boring - I thought maybve thats what might help for me right now. I really have been a bit all over the place with my food, so I bought a weeks worth yersterday. Will let you know how I go!
72kgs
Hi people! Still hanging in there I hope? This whole weightloss gig is so damn hard isnt it....and it doesnt get any easier either! Well thats what Im finding. My course has taken soooo much time away from my training that my weight is really suffering at the moment. And when Im not training hard, the eating goes a bit off aswell....so the weight has been fluctuating badly! SO?? What to do what to do. Well yesterday I thought to myself that really...it's time to stand up, dust myself off and if something is'nt working - then its time to simply CHANGE TACTICS! Also to stop complaining about the current obstacles (as valid as they are) and quite frankly, open up a can of TOUGHEN-UP!
I remembered that the tony Ferguson program really offered me a sense of routine and control when I went off the rails once before...and though I think its a program you can only really do for a short while before it all becomes too boring - I thought maybve thats what might help for me right now. I really have been a bit all over the place with my food, so I bought a weeks worth yersterday. Will let you know how I go!
20 November
69.9 kgs
Did you see that? there's a number 6!! Finally hit the 60's. Almost cried when I saw the scales.
Not much time to stare and my navel reflecting on the past few weeks so I'll be quick.
Still struggling but booked in some sessions with an amazing PT at my school. First session with him is tomorrow....I'm PACKING it!!!! Have alot of fear about being one on one with someone but I have to just feel the fear - then do it anyway. I want these last few kilos GONE from my body and I will not stop until there are.
I owe it to the 106 kg Gab. I promised her that I would do this AND FINISH IT. I didn't say well I'll get most of it off then pike out just before I get to the end...I said I'd take her to exactly where she wanted to be and nothing less. The 106 kg Gab is someone I will never forget and and only I know how much pain she went through being bigger, feeling invisible, iscolated, unhealthy etc. I'm doing this for her. She deserves it.
69.9 kgs
Did you see that? there's a number 6!! Finally hit the 60's. Almost cried when I saw the scales.
Not much time to stare and my navel reflecting on the past few weeks so I'll be quick.
Still struggling but booked in some sessions with an amazing PT at my school. First session with him is tomorrow....I'm PACKING it!!!! Have alot of fear about being one on one with someone but I have to just feel the fear - then do it anyway. I want these last few kilos GONE from my body and I will not stop until there are.
I owe it to the 106 kg Gab. I promised her that I would do this AND FINISH IT. I didn't say well I'll get most of it off then pike out just before I get to the end...I said I'd take her to exactly where she wanted to be and nothing less. The 106 kg Gab is someone I will never forget and and only I know how much pain she went through being bigger, feeling invisible, iscolated, unhealthy etc. I'm doing this for her. She deserves it.
22 April 09
72kgs
Welll hello??? Do I have any readers left????
Talk about dropping the ball huh!!!! I know - pretty bad form on my part.
But Im back. And willing and ready to use this blog again to help me lose the last few kilos.
Will update pics tonight....although nothing has really changed...I think last blog I was about the same or even a little less...eeeeek! Gotta get this show on the road!
So life between now and Oct last yr....well its been busy. I finished my PT course and even won an award out of the whole class - was pretty stoked with that...here i was just wanting to keep my head down and blend in so they wont notice "the fat girl" and then I won an award! pretty cool.
So since the beginning of the year Ive been trying to FIND CLIENTS!!!! Im doing some work for a local gym which has been fantastic. Ive been doing Boxing classes which IVE LOVED! Nothing like yelling at a bunch of fully grown men saying, "toughen up LADIES...get movin!!!!!" heheheeh I think thats the bit I like the best! All the pain men have put me through in my life...these guys are paying for ...ahahahah!
So sorry but here comes the plug....
GAB IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR ONE ON ONE TRAINING AND GROUP TRAINING ANYWHERE IN SYDNEY!!!!
Happy to train people wanting to lose 5-50 kgs. Dedicated, passionate, motivated and affordable!
Even if you dont live in Sydney but know someone who does - Id be so grateful for the lead.
Will get onto my progress pics tonight and for those who've stuck with me and checked my blog all those mths when I wasn't updating...thank you so much and SORRY!!!! :)
Chat soon!!!!!
72kgs
Welll hello??? Do I have any readers left????
Talk about dropping the ball huh!!!! I know - pretty bad form on my part.
But Im back. And willing and ready to use this blog again to help me lose the last few kilos.
Will update pics tonight....although nothing has really changed...I think last blog I was about the same or even a little less...eeeeek! Gotta get this show on the road!
So life between now and Oct last yr....well its been busy. I finished my PT course and even won an award out of the whole class - was pretty stoked with that...here i was just wanting to keep my head down and blend in so they wont notice "the fat girl" and then I won an award! pretty cool.
So since the beginning of the year Ive been trying to FIND CLIENTS!!!! Im doing some work for a local gym which has been fantastic. Ive been doing Boxing classes which IVE LOVED! Nothing like yelling at a bunch of fully grown men saying, "toughen up LADIES...get movin!!!!!" heheheeh I think thats the bit I like the best! All the pain men have put me through in my life...these guys are paying for ...ahahahah!
So sorry but here comes the plug....
GAB IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR ONE ON ONE TRAINING AND GROUP TRAINING ANYWHERE IN SYDNEY!!!!
Happy to train people wanting to lose 5-50 kgs. Dedicated, passionate, motivated and affordable!
Even if you dont live in Sydney but know someone who does - Id be so grateful for the lead.
Will get onto my progress pics tonight and for those who've stuck with me and checked my blog all those mths when I wasn't updating...thank you so much and SORRY!!!! :)
Chat soon!!!!!
29 April
Hello everyone!
Did you see the BandCamp segment on today Tonight? Great story and hopefully will do two things...bring more people up to speed with how its one thing to lose weight with the band...but another to keep it off! Also hope it helps put BandCamp onto the map, its a great opportunity for people with a band to connect, support eachother and together get fired up about fitness!
So Ive been doing alot of emotional eating lately...and I think the scales are going to give me a rude shock when I jump on them tomorrow. Gotta get backl on the horse and lose the last 6-7 kgs. GOT TO!
Funny how we humans sometimes seem to want to WAIT till the whole thing becomes easier...which we know never will happen. Or maybe we're waiting for a big clap of thunder to happen whereby all of a sudden we've got what it takes...all this procrastinisation....what a waste of energy!
I saw an autographed bit of paper digned by Shannon from the B.Loser the other day...I liked his remarks her wrote after signing his name...it said, "Train...DONT complain!!"
Love it.
Hello everyone!
Did you see the BandCamp segment on today Tonight? Great story and hopefully will do two things...bring more people up to speed with how its one thing to lose weight with the band...but another to keep it off! Also hope it helps put BandCamp onto the map, its a great opportunity for people with a band to connect, support eachother and together get fired up about fitness!
So Ive been doing alot of emotional eating lately...and I think the scales are going to give me a rude shock when I jump on them tomorrow. Gotta get backl on the horse and lose the last 6-7 kgs. GOT TO!
Funny how we humans sometimes seem to want to WAIT till the whole thing becomes easier...which we know never will happen. Or maybe we're waiting for a big clap of thunder to happen whereby all of a sudden we've got what it takes...all this procrastinisation....what a waste of energy!
I saw an autographed bit of paper digned by Shannon from the B.Loser the other day...I liked his remarks her wrote after signing his name...it said, "Train...DONT complain!!"
Love it.
